The name Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) doesn’t do the “disorder” justice. It isn’t a disorder or attention, nor is it one of hyperactivity. Because its name is misleading, many people are confused about what it is. You would think ADHD means someone who has hyperactivity and attention problems. It doesn’t. THis page will clear some of this up, and the pages linked to it will explain various issues that plague women with ADHD.
You may hear that ADHD isn’t an actual diagnosis, but these claims are just nonsense. ADHD isn’t a behavioral disorder but a medical-based disorder, and it is about as genetic as height. We have documented evidence of ADHD going back to the 180os. Upbringing and parenting do not cause ADHD!
ADHD is a disorder of executive functioning. This means it impacts attention, self-monitoring and the regulating of behavior and executing tasks. Understanding these issues, rather than just believing it is a disorder of attention and hyperactivity, can help tremendously.
ADHD impacts the ability to sustain and shift attention. It is not necessarily indicative of short attention span. Because the name is misleading, many parents think that if their child does not always have difficulty paying attention it means they don’t have ADHD. Many people who suffer from ADHD have the superpower of hyper focus. However, as the need to focus on things in their environment goes up, especially challenging things come their way, or something they are uninterested in, presents itself they are unable to shift their focus. If you are an adult and workplace stress go up, or a child at school, this translates into attention difficulties, or difficulties completing tasks.
A child with ADHD might be called to dinner, and if they are playing a video game it can be very hard to shift their focus. Unfortunately, the parent may misinterpret this as defiant or oppositional behavior. It can certainly LOOK like that. And in this case, the child is just having trouble shifting their attention.
A similar phenomenon can happen in the workplace. ADHD it is not a disorder of attention. Just one of shifting attention. The name really lends to confusion of the meaning of the disorder, and problems with its treatment.
In people with ADHD working memory is often impaired. For example, a child with ADHD is unable to hold 3 things in their mind at once when you give them a list of things to do. If you have an ADHD spouse and you tell them some things to pick up at the grocery store, they will likely not remember them all. You or your child may also have difficulty processing, accessing and recalling information due to your ADHD. Saying to an ADHD child “Go make your bed, sweep your room, and bring your clothes down to the laundry room” will never yield the outcome you desire. If you do not understand this, it can result in what looks like defiant and disobedient behavior. This can result in unnecessary stress in your house if you try to respond with discipline, and if your child does not understand their disability shame and low self-esteem. Similarly, if you yourself suffer from ADHD, and you don’t understand that your forgetfulness is a direct result of your disorder, you will suffer in the same way.
Emotion management is an area that is also frequently impaired by ADHD. Reactivity, frustration, impulsive behavior, and tantrums are often seen in children and adults with ADHD. If the person with ADHD and the people around him or her do not understand this illness and its impact, more problems ensure. The stress and the conflict caused by this misunderstanding will induce feelings of shame, self-criticism, and alienation.
Education is so important! Understanding the illness helps the person suffering from it search for and acquire the proper skills to mitigate it.
Often people with ADHD will shut down, isolate themselves and develop low self-esteem in response to this lack of understanding of their illness. This, paired with the stigma associated with the behaviors that result from their illness, can lead to secondary issues of depression and anxiety.
Learning skills of self-compassion can help tremendously
For parents of children of ADHD and spouses of people with ADHD, learning and practicing not responding in a judgmental way (although still setting limits) can be tremendously helpful.
Women with ADHD suffer from difficulty related to emotional regulation that often goes unidentified. They may have overwhlem. depression, anxiety, outbursts or impulsive behaviors that challenge their relationships, and these issues improve with medication.
Girls with ADHD/ADD can spend most of their lives without getting diagnosed, Girls unlike boys, girls may get missed from getting diagnosed with ADHD. They have no behavioral problems so they may fly under the radar throughout the early years and escape detection until major life stressors that tax executive functioning skills hit.
Were you recently diagnosed? Good news! You are one of the lucky ones. There is no need for you to feel ashamed or inadequate anymore. Let’s work on shedding all those toxic layers of self-loathing that have accumulated.
You don’t struggle because you are lazy, incompetent or because there is anything wrong with you. You are just not neurotypical.
Time to spend more time developing your strengths, surround yourself with the right people, and learn self-compassion.
Welcome to the tribe.
You can learn to help yourself feel worthy of and receive the love and life that you deserve.
Learn about how to help yourself build on your strengths and struggles in the following pages.
ADHD is a disorder of Planning and Self-Management
The neuroimaging studies of the ADHD brain show differences in the front part of the brain responsible for organizing, prioritizing, time management, and motivation. Not surprisingly, these are the area’s people with ADHD struggle with. As a child grows into adolescence, this becomes more apparent. Teens with ADHD need a lot of guidance, specifically in these areas. They need school interventions, the setting of boundaries around technology, and may need to delay driving. They are at high risk for motor vehicle accidents.
Adults with ADHD will need to learn how to help themselves and what options and interventions are available. In many cases, medication may be an option, and interventions are available. Other options are effective such as yoga, exercise, mindfulness, and neurofeedback.
Learn about procrastination and ADHD
This is the jumping off point for all things ADHD
ADHD meaning Sources
Webinar from ADDA. (Producer). (2019). Attention doesn’t half describe it -with Doctor Mark Bertin[Video webinar]. Retrieved
Dr Bertin’s website
Medical information obtained from this website is not intended as a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you have a problem, you should consult a healthcare provider.
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