ADHD, Women and Self Esteem: Beliefs that are Sabatoging You

Core Beliefs are formed in childhood. They are mostly driving our life choices outside of our awareness. They help create the lens through which we see ourselves and the world. They help form the maps we are navigating life from.

These beliefs are formed when we are children and come from our family and culture. The wrong core beliefs can harm self esteem.

If you are a woman with ADHD, it’s essential to take a step back and examine your core beliefs. In many cases, our limiting beliefs are holding us back from reaching our full potential. Here are four core limiting beliefs that I often see in my clients that are harmful.

4 Core Beliefs that Hurt Self Esteem in ADHD women

1. I’m not good enough. I’m inadequate. I’m stupid. I’m defective.

If you believe you’re not good enough, you’ll never take the steps necessary to achieve Success. You’ll always hold yourself back, thinking you’re not qualified or capable of accomplishing great things. But the truth is, you are good enough—and more than capable of achieving anything you set your mind to. You need to understand how your brain works to maximize it and get the support you need.

2. I can’t trust myself. In relationships, others are more reliable.

Handing your power over to others puts you at risk of being taken advantage of, which is often a pattern for people with ADHD. Learning communication and emotional regulation skills, as well as deepening knowledge and awareness of your stregnths, can help you have confidence in this area.

2. It’s not possible for me. When you believe that something is impossible, you’ll never even try to achieve it. You’ll talk yourself out of taking risks or taking any action at all.

3. I don’t deserve it. When people realize who I am, they will leave me. Everyone else is better than me.

Imposter syndrome is common in my clients who have ADHD.
Imposter syndrome is a condition in which people feel they are not deserving of their successes and will be exposed as frauds. It is common among high-achieving individuals, and research has shown that women with ADHD are especially susceptible to it. This may be because ADHD can make it difficult to meet others’ expectations, and women with ADHD often feel like they have to work twice as hard as their non-ADHD counterparts.

4. If something terrible happens, it’s my fault. It’s common for women with ADHD to blame themselves for things that happen that aren’t their fault. They are often confused about what they do and don’t have control over.

When we tell ourselves that everything bad happens is our fault, we risk not pursuing difficult things for fear of making mistakes, increasing anxiety disorders, and also are more susceptible to abusive relationships in our personal and work lives.

These are just some unhelpful core beliefs you may have as a woman with ADHD. It is important to pay attention to how these core beliefs might appear in your life and challenge them. Many of them don’t map to reality. They are things that you learn from family and society. Conclusions that you jumped to as a child from some of your experiences now sticking around and possibly limiting your joy and happiness.

When you have the wrong map, you go to the wrong places!

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