Single dad with 34 mo old

by Justin Ruben
(Stilwell, Oklahoma)

My son’s mother took all kinds of drugs while pregnant with my son. She is also bi-polar, diabetic , and it would take the entire page to tell you of the problems she has, the worse is she is in prison for trying to murder both my son and me.


I got full custody of him when he was 6 mos. old. She never bonded with him and he doesn't even know he has a mom. I feel he may be suffering from her genetically and also from the drugs she ingested and shot up while pregnant. Kyler has started throwing fits when he doesn't get what he wants and has no patience. He is very smart for his age, my mom is the only mother he has ever known. If he isn't with me or at day care he wants to be with her.


He has started becoming aggressive to the children at day care and is in time out every day for something. I have noticed when he is at home he is becoming very different in his actions and behavior. At first I thought he was just spoiled. But, it is so much more than that. What can I do to help him and his disruptive behavior? It is to the point I am worried sick. That he will turn out like his mother. A little more background on his mom, she was a case worker at the local welfare office, she was smart in school and came from a home where she was allowed to get away with anything she wanted to do. Which her family, has been granted visitation with Kyler 3 days per mo.



Which includes over night with them for those 3 days. When he comes home he is awful to get along with. He has temper tantrums and is hateful and bossy, doesn't sleep well. Before they were awarded visitation with him, he hadn't seen them for over a year. He doesn't really know them. While on his visits with them they are allowed to take him to the prison to see his mom. Whom he doesn't know. They never tell me when they are taking him to see her so when he comes home he is really confused about this mom thing the grandparents are pushing on him. Please help me I don't want him turning out like his mother. She has also been setting fires to houses, businesses, cars and even the welfare office where she worked for years and this all came out in court. I need help for my son desperately. Please help me!!!!!

Hi Justin:



Your child has been through so much stress that it is very difficult to determine where his behaviors might be coming from. I have to tell you to get him to a play therapist immediately. He is not too young to benefit from this type of therapy and the therapist may be able to help you determine the source of his issues and how to address them. She also may be able to advocate for your child’s needs in court.


Also, I would advise you to get an attorney or a guardian ad litem to help you with the situation with visitation in jail with the mother whom he does not know (who you report tried to kill you). Someone needs to insure that your son’s interests are protected and that he doesn’t go through anymore stress. Good luck to you


Kristen McCLure