No Performance at a Recital due to Anxiety

by Min
(Denver)

My three and a half years old girl is normally a social butterfly at her class. She gets along with everyone at her class and is very active with any kinds of activities. She is an advanced reader (she already knows many words), does 100 puzzles, etc. and she is a very happy toddler.

We enrolled her in a ballet class because one of her close friends was there. She was totally fine until the recital day. She froze when she saw many people, mostly parents watching their performance. When it became her turn, she refused to go on a stage and to perform. She ended up being the only toddler who did not perform in the toddler class.

We are very puzzled by this and I have noticed that she sometimes freezes when she has to perform or to show something in front of people whom she does not know.

How and what should we do to help her reduce anxiety?


Answer

Hi Min:


This behavior isn't necessarily a sign of anything being terrible wrong with your child. Toddlers frequently will show this kind of reaction around triggers or cues that they have associated with something fearful, specifically other people strangers or crowds.



It is important to acknowledge to your child that she is uncomfortable and ask her to explain what is happening. The reassure that she is safe and you will protect her.


It may help to prepare your child for the circumstances she is normally showing some worry in. If you talk about how the worry feelings come, but she will be okay, that may help as well.


Don't show any of your own anxiety, as she will pick up on this and it will make her anxiety worse.

Praise and reward her for getting through performances or other situations where she might normally get nervous.


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