My Son Doesn't Want Help

by Elizabeth

I have become the most anxious, frustrated, sad and anxious mom since my son's dx of bipolar, I sometimes wonder how we will go on like this. He will be 16 in April and often says he will run away for good at that age.

Back last April, he did run away for 3 days. Then again in Nov., he was gone for 4. There have been a few other times of just a day or two. He acts like it is stupid for me to get so upset, but I get sick to my stomach when he misses curfew! He does not understand why I have not gotten his learner's permit for him yet.

Truth be told, I don't think he has been stable for longer than a week since August when he took the class! He insists that he will "try harder' to be "good." I think some of that mentality comes from being told by various adults--my husband, teachers, administrators, and even a juvenile court judge that he needs to "just behave" and "make good choices." He is not always a terrible child, so why is he "choosing" such awful behaviors such as running away, self injury, self medicating with weed, pills, and alcohol, smashing out windows, etc. etc.? I believe our psychiatrist pretty much gave us our walking papers today, after 3 visits and ds coldly informing us both each time that he is not "interested" in taking medications.

We have a lot of confirmed and unconfirmed bipolar, depression, and alcoholism in our family, so I don't really doubt my son's diagnosis. Tonight he told me he does doubt it, because he thinks it is a crock he could be dxed so "easily." I told him to do some research, but he just wanted to spend an hour arguing with me about everything under the sun! I am fed up and wondering what kind of medication **I** need to survive this.

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Dec 31, 2011
hang in there
by: bipolar child

hang in there your son cant help way he reacts its a diesase. try to take him to get help but only if he wants to dont force him. im 34 have bipolar and been though the system and i wouldnt let anyone in. he just needs support and encouragement . bipolar in kids is fear and failure thoughts we cant help. your a good mum and care thats all you can do and be there for him.

Apr 07, 2009
My Son doesn't want help
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you. My daughter is 14 and has been given a similar diagnosis. They just put her on Verapril We told her that she has 3 choices:1)go to a private boarding school(she is not going to school(2)Take the pills and stay home
3)Foster care or theraputic home. She choose to take the pills. We are beginning to see some change but not enough to say we are doing better. We saw the DR. today and he is increasing the dosage. We have hired a company that deals with theraputic situations to get her to school but that can only last for 1 month. It is really expensive! We are all hoping the medication will do the trick and playing it day by day. I am concerned about you. I can imagine what it is like .I am living this nightmare too. Last week I suddenly out of nowhere had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the grocery store while shopping with my son. I was uncontrollably howling, crying and completely out of control. He had to get me outside. It was one of the most awful moments of my life and I am on medication for anxiety!. You need to be able to talk with a therapist because you can not do this alone. This is too much for anyone, believe me. I would tell him that now he is 16 he can either take his medication or move out. This is the hardest thing you will ever do. When we "had" to put my daughter in a home earlier,the DR> signed a waiver on her behalf to get her in. When I saw guards take her away I had a breakdown and was in the hospital for a week. This will not be an easy decision but letting him ruin his life is not the answer either. He needs to know how serious this is and what you will do. Telling him that he must take the medication for lets say 2 months or whenever the DR> says it will click in and that if he does not feel any difference then he can do what he wants.(you can't force it down his throat) He can stay in the house. Even if he walks out angry for a week he will come home. My son did. My husband gave him the alternative (when I was in the hospital) to get rid of the drugs or leave. It also made him a stronger person. He is now 21 and I have a great relationship with him.These are just suggestions and you probably will not be able to do it. When this happened I thought I was going to die. but when I look back it was the best thing . He came home 3 weeks later. Another option is a boys boot camp I know someone who took their son there the first 6 months were hard but it changed his life around. You will need help with this one and money unfortunately.Best of luck to you but please get yourself some support. Isn't your life worth something? Take care and best wishes.

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