my horror story any tips?

by Jennifer
(Elkhart,IN)

Hi my name is Jennifer and i am a mother to two girls I have a 4 year old that is turning five in February on the 4th and I have a 2 year old . When my oldest daughter turned 2 years old she started showing signs of extreme problems but i never thought that things would ever get as bad as they have gotten. She was diagnosed as adhd when she was 3 years old and they started her on meds and that's when things just got worse and worse now we deal with daily fits that are as many as 4 to 8 or even more depending on the day. She ties any string she can find around her neck like a noose and has done this to her sister as well. She has tried drowning our cat. I get up every morning and put my whole house back together because she gets up before everyone and destroys as much as she can. We have a door with a lock on our kitchen to keep her out because if not she will climb and eat anything that is sugar or carbs. She will play with the knives and she will even get in to the meds that are locked away and take them as many as she can without getting caught. Now note we have all these things locked a away. She picks locks or climbs to get this and she won't quit until she gets there we .


She has been put in a behavioral center because she has tried killing herself and her sister all in the same morning and they told me that they didn't see anything outside of normal four year old behavior but yet when she was throwing fits there she was doing just like she does at home and was beating her head in to the floor and they diagnosed her with a mood disorder. This is a little girl that has extreme rage and anger. She has told everyone in our family that she hates them and will go out of her way to hurt herself or other people or pets. So I finally got referred to a physiatrist and they are saying because she doesn't act out at school that it must be because of my way of parenting and have given us what is called a case counselor that comes to our home and tries giving use tips on how to deal with her fits . but nothing has worked I have taken 5 different parenting classes even one two three magic nothing works and i am really at a point i don't know what to do the doctor they have sent us to doesn't want to prescribe her anything to help her and has flat out told me that she's not going to , and that she doesn't see how giving me a diagnoses is going to help me and everywhere else I have gone doesn't take children her age. As life is right now I'm scared that i am going to wake up one morning and find both of my girls dead... Because I can't find anyone to take me seriously.

Hi Jennifer, this is a terrible story and you sound overwhelmed and frustrated, understandably. It certainly sounds like your child needs help that she is not getting. t saddens me to hear how you are unfairly blamed by professionals and how they continue to use was seem to be ineffective techniques. I am unclear about what part of the country you are in, but if you send me some information here kristmcclur@aol.com, I will see if I know anyone who can work with you. Additionally I am going to post this and see if any other parents may be willing to offer some advice.

Sincerely

Kristen

Comments for my horror story any tips?

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Dec 22, 2015
Your Horror Story is my Horror Story NEW
by: Anonymous

your horror story is my horror story. I'm so sorry. I know your pain. This is a helpless feeling. I'm from your area and I'm finding no help also. We have been blamed over and over. This is painful to hear when we are watching our daughter suffer and suffering ourselves. I wish I had some tips but knowing someone is in the trenches living this horror may be sort of supportive. I know how lonely this can feel.

Sep 17, 2015
Tips for Kristen NEW
by: Anonymous

Kristen, as a mother of a daughter with a mood disorder, I know how it can destroy your life. I found that if I prayed and asked God to help me love HER like He loves HER maybe I could see past the terrible fits and abuse and somehow continue to parent her like a loving parent should. Remember that you are not perfect and you will have days that you fail her... forgive yourself. You are doing your best. Not all professionals will discount your story, those with knowledge of mood disorders will believe you. Keep fighting each day and try to take care of yourself somewhere in the middle of this storm. May God show His grace to get you through as he has me for 16 years. Hugs. Tonya

Sep 15, 2015
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Sep 08, 2015
Informative post NEW
by: chris

I am sad to know what your daughter is going through, better change your house. I have read the tips these are really very useful.
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Mar 22, 2014
Look for others - Place an ad! NEW
by: Jen

I wish that when mine was young I'd placed an ad for a play group of similar-minded children and their parents. (Just if you do this don't allow them to drop their kids off.) It could have been something to help all of us, throughout the years, giving them all kids to actually work through their issues. It isn't too late for you, though.
By the way, at 4 years old mine told me she needed help but couldn't explain why, until she was almost 5. She said "You know north, south, east, west? Well, it's like they're all running around in circles in my brain." (Racing Thoughts.) She also said she felt like being dead and proceeded to explain what death was. I was ignoring her until she finally tried to end it herself by running out in front of oncoming traffic. I called and got her help right away.

PS You know what you could do, would be to contact the girl scouts organization - the real one, not a local chapter - and ask how you could start one for special emotional needs. Helping the little ones work towards goals could be a big boost for them. And you could meet kids with autism, aspbergers, etc.

Mar 22, 2014
Look for others - Place an ad! NEW
by: Jen

I wish that when mine was young I'd placed an ad for a play group of similar-minded children and their parents. (Just if you do this don't allow them to drop their kids off.) It could have been something to help all of us, throughout the years, giving them all kids to actually work through their issues. It isn't too late for you, though.
By the way, at 4 years old mine told me she needed help but couldn't explain why, until she was almost 5. She said "You know north, south, east, west? Well, it's like they're all running around in circles in my brain." (Racing Thoughts.) She also said she felt like being dead and proceeded to explain what death was. I was ignoring her until she finally tried to end it herself by running out in front of oncoming traffic. I called and got her help right away.

Aug 06, 2012
don't give up! NEW
by: Anonymous

It seems common to me to blame the parent. I am not sure why. This happened to me and a few others I know about when our kids did need help.

I encourage you to keep plugging at it until you will find someone who will listen.

I am in southern IN And my son see's Dr. Griffen (psy)and Dr. Daily(psy). Also, Dr.Todd Baxter In Columbus Indiana. He is a pediatrician.


Hope this helps.

Jan 18, 2012
help NEW
by: Camma

Hi Jennifer,
Your story made me really sad and angry at the same time. How could so many Dr.s think this is a parenting issue?! That makes me furious. The fact that she is trying to harm herself and others is enough to know that this is much more.
Though my daughter was not as aggressive as yours I went through similar problems with having her diagnosed. My daughter, who is now almost 11 had issues ever since she was 4. She had uncontrollable fits that started off as harmless and then as she grew older she began to take her anger out on me and would physically attack me anytime she didnt get her way or when she was just angry for no reason. I was also told that this was a "parenting issue" (by her pediatrician)and that I needed to take control and discipline her more. I also tried counseling (which didn't help) and was told the same thing "its a parenting issue." her agression only got worse as she got bigger and I didn't know what to do. She would hit me as hard as she could, Kick me, try to bite me, and grab and pull at my breasts trying to hurt me, she would then flop on the floor and throw an all out tantrum for hours at a time, she would throw things, punch and kick holes in doors and she even kicked out the windsheild in my car one day while we were driving on the freeway. So,after the kicking in of the windsheild I thought " this is nuts, why won't any of the Dr.s do anything?" So the next day I called and made an apt with her new pediatricain (her old one had retired). I sat down with here and told her everything that had been going on. She then told me "this isnt right, here is the number to a child psychologist that you need to take her to as soon as you can." I took her to this new Dr. and he then told me that it sounded like my daughter was bi-polar (this runs in my family and her dads family). He started her on Zyprexa for bipolar and Prozac for depression. We had to do a little tweaking with the dosages but after a few months she was a totally different kid and she hasn't acted like that since. Now I am battling ADHD with my son who is out of control with his anger and at this point and I'm wondering if he is also bipolar. He has an apt tomorrow with the child pyschologist so we will see what he says. Oh I forgot to mention that just like your daughter, my daughter only acted up like this at home with me and her dad, we were told its because its where she felt the safest to act like herself.
I know I am not a Dr, just a Mom with my own experience but it sounds like your daughter may be bipolar and maybe even ADHD. I hope you find a good Dr. for her to evaluate her. Your family deserves a happy life! I know it's tough being told over and over that its a parenting issue but just keep going! Good thoughts are with you and please feel free to email me if you want. I am not sure if we are in the same city or not but I would be more than happy to give our Dr.s name to you. cammajones@gmail.com
Camma

Jan 18, 2012
Sending Prayers NEW
by: Sharon

Hi Jennifer!

My heart aches for you! I am no medical expert but from what you describe you daughter sounds to be like she might be bipolar. I only say this because I have a 7 year old that is and can relate to your many issues. I don't know where you live but I am in South Carolina and my daughter has a wonderful psychiatrist and therapist. Feel free to email me if you ever want to vent or share stories. skb33@bellsouth.net I will keep you in my prayers! God bless.

Sharon

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