My Daughter Can't Help "Hating" Me

by Amy
(Washington Court House, Ohio)

A little over a month ago my 16 yo daughter attempted suicide, overdosing on OTC meds. She briefly hung herself and before passing out realized she didn't want to die that way as well as a superficial cut to her wrist. She was admitted to an inpatient psych unit DX with major depressive d/o and anxiety. She was started on 30 mg of Prozac. Within 2 weeks she became very angry and expressed wanting to violently hurt others. She was DX with bipolar and the Prozac stopped. She started a mood stabilizer. Through this her Dad has offered little support - arrived to ER hours later, didn't visit while inpatient, could not make time to participate in therapy session until next weekend (asked over 2 1/2 weeks ago), seen her a couple hours 2 weeks after she came home, and phone calls as her "friend". I understand he told her he has been dx with bipolr 3 times since her age alrhough he is denial and takes no medicines. When addressed by the hospital he told them he was only joking with her. Our 5 year marriage was abusive and ended when she was 1 1/2. Since then he has remarried and made his stepdaughter a priority in his life, while our children took the backseat and never shared a consistent relationship with him. She told me the other day she can't stand me, looking at me, my voice, and hates me. She describes not being able to put in words and expresses not wanting to feel this way she just can't help it no matter how she

tries. Her desire to cut seems less most of the time. She wants to smoke cigars and pot, however isnt. For more background one of her close friends was killed in a car wreck shortly after she came home. She was sad he got to die and she didn't. I understand her step mom had a heart to heart on Thanksgiving and within 2 hours identified Lynze's mood all over the place, the general anger, and resentment of me with no reason. Her dad says he doesn't get it she was so happy from what he seen. After a good Thanksgiving with her Dad her Therapist suggested I let her go this weekend to push him to encourage him to parent more and be less of a friend. She came home Sunday for our Thanksgiving dinner and within a half hour she was in the bathroom crying just miserable at the thought of being here and near me. The Therapist assures me this is normal. She is resenting me for being a parent, consistent, and giving her what she needs from her dad as well and is not receiving. I took her back to her Dad Sunday evening assuring her I love her, she feels I hate her, and it was to try and help her. I have text her little to give space. I'm lost of what's right and what's wrong. I want to help her all I can and want what is best. How would you suggest moving forward? Perhaps I gave you too much information I am just looking for insight and direction. Thank you

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