My almost 15 year old teen BOY

by Michele
(Ga)

Hello. My son has had mood issues since he was little. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, PDD, and bi-polar. His twin brother has had more severe issues than that! I have been struggling to find the right medicine cocktail to help him along with how to deal with him when he gets upset at me. He tends to curse and will even raise his hand to me. I don't know what to do! I am at my wits end! I used to take him to a therapist but he would never talk to them. He always blames his brother for everything. Even though his brother has more issues than he does, he still has to own up to his own actions. He is fine and happy one minute than if he doesn't get what he wants, he will react in a bad way like a toddler. My family don't think I punish him enough & I just don't know how to handle my parenting anymore.

HELP!


Hi Michele.

I don't know exactly how I can help but I can tell you a few things they may provide you some guidance.

Families very often presume to know what you should do to make everything right. I have a theory that people believe that all kids would be fine if you just parented them right because it gives them a sense of control. Please remember that this is not your fault!

No one wants to believe that they could have a special needs child that can turn their life upside down. In fact, people like their lives to be as predictable and as in control as possible. It's easier for others to just believe that your child is like that because you are a bad parent. Don't by into this. please.

Loved ones often make foolish suggestions and make you feel worse rather than giving you the love and support you need.

I suspect that there isn't an easy answer to any of the questions you have. However, I think that if you find a therapist who can related to your child on their level, talk with him and engage him around the things that are important to him, than you will be in better shape.

No one wants to go to a therapist they don't feel comfortable with, and often we ask teens to do that.

Finally, do the best you can do to be a good parent. Stop blaming yourself for your child's special needs. Look at what you are doing that works and do more of it. Look at what you are doing that doesn't work and do less of it. Focus on your child's strengths.

Sincerely

Kristen McClure

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Dec 20, 2016
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Please don't use a belt.
by: Kristen

Using a belt on a child is never a good idea, whether they have bipolar disorder or not. All the research that has been done on this kind of punishment suggests it is ineffective discipline and causes long term damage to your child. In many states, it is considered child abuse and your child can be removed from you.

Kristen

Jun 21, 2011
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truth
by: Anonymous

you can still use a belt some thing that sould have never ben taking away from kids all kids to day have it made go back to the old days and show thim you love thim and you meen what you say get the belt out.

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