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May 13, 2016
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The US is the only country to discourage family beds NEW
by: Barbara

I raised my granddaughter who was abused by her parents as an infant. She was a very difficult child due to the abuse and because her parents did not respond to her needs often leaving her in her crib for the whole day without diaper changes or her bottles. I read everything I could get my hands on and was very discouraged when I found out no psychiatrist would see me to discuss an infant's problems. She is now 18. Has 9 diagnosis's the most problematic being Borderline Personality Disorder. We struggled through Severe Separation Anxiety for 15 years. She was unable to leave my side for the first 4 years. She was 16 before she could spend the night at her best friends house. I dutifully followed the advise in the books I read and tried all the tricks to put a toddler to sleep in her own bed. I spent 1 1/2 years sleep deprived sitting next to her bed trying to get her to go to sleep. I finally gave up and let her sleep with me at about 2 yrs of age. She held on to me all nite but at least we slept. Currently I am working with an adopted toddler who also has separation issues. I was able to find a psychiatrist to assist this time and she said 'If he needs to sleep with you then let him'. I find that Dr. Sears has the same recommendation now. My little one is doing well and is moving forward very nicely in his recovery of his separation issues. If I had followed my instincts and allowed my granddaughter to sleep with me I think she would have fared much better in the long run. Please be aware if you decide to use the family bed that there is a structure to guard the baby now from suffocation which I would highly recommend. Also, I wish I had had the information from this article when my granddaughter was little. She also had temper tantrums for hours with the animal like wild eyes and tried her best to gouge out my eyes, pull my hair, bite, and spit. I am sure she was bi polar but there are not many therapists who would talk about this even today. Thank you Kristen for stepping up! Hopefully I will find more information to fit my puzzle and make sense out of what has happened to my granddaughter someday.

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