How much should we be asking of an 18 year old
We have an 18-year-old daughter who just graduated high school a few weeks ago. She has suffered from depression since middle school but has also hinted since then it was more than just depression. She is very smart and was in the gifted program until high school. Which is when her behavior really started to get out of hand. She did graduate but it was like pulling teeth to make that happen. 1 week before graduation we had to take her to inpatient treatment for suicidal threats and abusing drugs. Mostly Xanax which she does not have a prescription for and cocaine. She also smokes marijuana. She totaled her car while high on Xanax a few days before we took her. She spent a week there and come home clear headed, optimistic and on medication for bipolar disorder. She has been home 3 weeks. We have had many disagreements about the rules for her to live here. We feel she needs to be home at a certain time, let us know where she is and who she is hanging out with, also absolutely no drug use at all.
She feels she should be able to come and go as she pleases because she is legally an adult and that she should be able to use drugs if she chooses. She was also going to be given another car this time from her grandmother. She came home yesterday saying she was packing a bag and leaving. We were arguing because she hadn't been home in 2 nights and when she was here she slept the entire time. She was clearly high on something and not marijuana. She also had 2 guys with her we had never might before. We took the car from her and told her she can't have it or live here if she was not going to do what is expected of her. She left on foot with the 2 guys and says she is not coming back unless we give her the car back and let her do whatever she wants to do.
My question is the article almost makes it sound like we should just put up with her bad behavior and poor choices. I felt it did have helpful information too. So is asking your 18-year-old, that all of this has just happened, to check in with us, to have a curfew and not do drugs to live with us, have us support her and help her go to college like she wants to much to ask of her?? I don't understand what limits we are supposed to be set if we aren't supposed to expect that much out of them.
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