How Do I Respond To Manipulation/Power Struggles?

by Lili
(Windsor, CA, USA)

Hi, thank you for reading this.

I am the mother of a son who turns 18 in a couple of months and is pretty stable on two different meds, although we can still tell when his moods are shifting. He is BP-NOS/mixed. He can be helpful and generous to others at times, but with me in particular there are constant power struggles and manipulation. If he is in the midst of a mixed state he might use the f-bomb or c-bomb on me, in the next minute demand a ride somewhere.

Today he called me to pick him up at his high school, drive him home so he wouldn't have to walk, then drive him back in an hour when some friends got out that he wanted to go to Starbucks with. When I told I would not drive back-and-forth for that and he would have to wait for them to get out, he became irate. I did not give in but told him I would drive all of them to a friends' house from there when they were done.

I don't want to be so manipulated by him all the time but at the same time I am trying very hard to respect his illness and to figure out when his experience reflects the fact that I have catered to him to avoid rages, or if he is very anxious because he is actively phasing.

Any advice??

Thank you so much.


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