Does it change?

by annj

We have a daughter, who is very intelligent, studying post university. She was diagnosed with bipolar about 5 years ago now 28. She is independent and lives in another city in her own apartment and cares for herself and her cat.

we have gone through different phases when she will attach herself to either her father or myself for several months and then she switches allegiances.

Right now we are both out! we have had some extended family problems and she blames us as to having caused them. In her mind we are fundamentally wrong, although she absolutely refuses to discuss situations with us. It is difficult because it is not the kind of relationship I HAD HOPED TO HAVE WITH MY DAUGHTER and it seems that I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

If we call there are long silences on the phone and no interest in conversation. I call to keep contact occasionally but don't know if I should do even that. She can not stand to be with us for more than a few hours at a time but seems to have no problem with others... I wish you could help me know how to deal with this. It hurts so much.

Dear Anj

The kind of work that it takes is extensive, but I think you its certainly possible for things to change. Usually it require a commitment to family therapy. Emotional perceptions and intensity are much more intense in people with bipolar disorder. When they have good therapy, they too can learn skills to better manage those emotions.

Thanks for sharing your story, and I hope that others who have similar experiences may join in and give you some advice

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Nov 04, 2015
Great post
by: mike

You should tell her that the family problems you are facing are not because of you and your husband.Don't treat her harshly,make her feel that you care for her,give her some,i hope she will be soon with you.
london stock bricks

May 08, 2011
Hang in There
by: Anonymous

When you have a bi-polar relative it feels as if they are trying to sabotage your relationship with them. However, what is really happening is that they have such a low self-esteem that they are trying to save you by distancing themselves from you. They feel that they are not worthy of your love.
I speak from experience. My spouse is bi-polar and now we are finding out that my daughter may be.
Just hang in there and remember that bi-polar is a disease not a choice. Let your daughter know you love her no matter what and that you just want to be part of her life. If she allows you in great, if not at least you tried. Never blame yourself for the thoughts the disease causes.

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