Causes of Separation Anxiety
A lot of parents come to me fearful that are one of the causes of separation anxiety in their child. They ask me what they have done and promise that they are not abusing or hurting their child.
Relax! Although there may be some things you can improve upon, you haven’t necessarily done anything to cause it. Some kids just have a temperament or personality that lends itself to anxiety.
There are some things we know may trigger separation anxiety in children.
- Separation anxiety in children can suddenly appear if your child has experienced a loss, trauma or change.
For example, a common cause of separation anxiety I see in my practice is divorce.
- If you or someone in your family has been ill, this can possibly trigger it as well. I have worked with children who develop separation anxiety after a parent was ill or made a hospital visit for an injury. Something about this experience makes the child concerned for their parent’s safety when they are not with them.
- Other things that contribute to separation anxiety in children include problems such as a learning disabilities or poor social skills. If a child is struggling unsuccessfully to fit in at school or academically, then anxiety may be developed as a way to protect them from that stress.
- Sometimes children who have a disturbed early attachment (from the first three years of life) can show signs of separation anxiety. For example, a child who has had frequent hospitalizations in early childhood may show more anxiety upon separating from his caregiver. This also may be common in children who have spent time in foster care, or lived with multiple caregivers.
The normal attachment cycle consists of children crying when distressed and in response being soothed by their mother. This creates a sense of safety, trust, and certainty that the child will be taken care of. When this cycle is disrupted, anxiety can result.
- Parent behavior can certainly be one of the causes of separation anxiety. There may be some things that you as a parent, are unaware of doing that is feeding or contributing to separation anxiety in your child. For example if you are anxious about being away from your child, overly cautious or protective, your child may receive the message that it is unsafe for them to be away from you.
Ask yourself what things may have happened or may be happening that are causing your child anxiety. Don’t blame yourself, but consider how your behavior may be one of the causes of separation anxiety in your child. Getting informed and seeking help is a great first step.
It may be important to read some information about OCD, because in young children it may be masked bu other forms of anxiety. Click here for more information about OCD signsand OCD diagnosis. Click here for more information about what some of the effects of ocd may be on your child and family.
Have a question about anxiety in children?
Do you have a question about anxiety in children? I get several emails a day asking questions about anxiety disorder in children. Many parents have the same concerns and issues. Help others with questions by sharing your question about anxiety in children, or about symptoms of anxiety in your child.
It may be helpful to include any ideas or techniques you have tried to help your childs anxiety and whether or not they have worked.
Please share your questions with other website viewers. Questions that are selected will be answered and posted on line.
What Other Visitors Have Asked
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
Is it anxiety or another mental disorder? Not rated yet
My daughter is 8 and is seeing a therapist now for anxiety. She was fine all summer but the moment school started she complained of a stomach …
Teenage anxiety Not rated yet
Hi I am 15 years old and i think I have seperation anxiety. I was going to this camp and when I got there I called my dad to come Pick me up after I left …
16 YEAR OLD SON Not rated yet
I have a sixteen year old wonderful son! He is confident surrounded by friends, does well in school and highly competitive waterskiing. His father and …
Grandmother Not rated yet
I have a 8 yr old grandson. We a few houses from each other and see each other everyday. His father has been sick for about 2 yrs and has left the home …
Mother of peanut allergic Grade 1 boy Not rated yet
Ivan is a very happy, sociable outspoken just turned six-year-old boy. Six weeks into school he has started crying before going into school saying that …
I dont know where else to go Not rated yet
Okay so this is for kids, but I can’t find anything else sufficient on the internet. I am 16 years old and female, I don't know if you needed to know that. …
Click here to write your own.
Go from causes of separation anxiety to separation anxiety treatment