Bipolar Teen and Emotional Abuse

My 16 year old, bipolar son verbally abuses me. I am having difficulty communicating with him because he will not listen to what I have to say. He name calls, uses profanity towards me and will physically push or grab me if I try to give consequences(ie. take his computer away). He is vindictive and threatens me. I have even called the police. I don't know the best way to handle this. He doesn't see his behavior! We have been in therapy for years and he is on Depakote. He is also in a substance abuse program. Please help!


Thank you,
Caryn

Hi Caryn

Its difficulty for me to know exactly whats happening, but it is possible that your child is not stable. Are these behaviors bound to a mood state? Many children only behave aggressively when they are manic? DO you understand the signs and symptoms of his mania and depression? Is he able to identify his mood states? Is he actively using? All these issues seem relevant.It seems like you also may need to work with your therapist to have a clear safety plan. It is never okay to feel threatened or to put up with that kind of behavior, and if necessary you need to look to the outside for help when it becomes dangerous.

Good Luck
Kristen McClure

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Feb 22, 2016
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Too much emotional abuse NEW
by: Anonymous

I am so glad I found this site and pray that the people who have commented find me as well. My 13 year old daughter has had bipolar disorder with rapid cycling since she was 2. I have always been her target of any and every type of abuse you could imagine. She tells me she wants me to die, doesn't respect me, I could go on and on. We go to therapy every week, she is medicated, I am so tired of the battle everyday. I love my daughter with all of my heart but it's getting so difficult to be around her. I am at a loss and so his her therapist. I'm not a perfect parent and I have to deal with my own depression. It's hard not to believe some of the horrific things she says when u hear them on a daily basis. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Oct 01, 2015
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True information is shared NEW
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Aug 30, 2015
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Emotional Abuse NEW
by: Anonymous

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Jul 17, 2013
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Verbal abuse too much NEW
by: Anonymous

I'm sad that others are going through situations similar to my own. My daughter is a teen that has been treated for child onset bipolar since 3. I use to be so much better at coping, researching skills to cope, & just connecting. My 13 year old son has only in the past few years become condescending too. Their Daddy died about 5 yr back & he use to do this when we were first married. It's dehumanizing to be told you should die & the world will be better off repeatedly. If I was in a primary grade on a school bus - it might hurt my feelings. Im told I have no friends & ppl just pity me. They smirk or laugh if I show reaction. This breaks my heart & immobilizes will. I have a 6 year old I try to focus on, redirect from negative - go to the park. I'm limiting my Internet usage bc of my emotional state, way too sensitive & know I'm drawing inward. It helps to know I'm not alone in my battles. After watching their Dad pass, it's hard to get angry. I've encountered a lot of cruelty & trying not to feel as a helpless victim. We are getting counseling. I'm not sure why (maybe its my perception) it seems everybody blames me as though it's a parenting or personality issue. I have never taken any satisfaction or felt power over making anyone feel bad so I will never understand. Is there any coping skills that seem effective in making the behavior stop? Or hiding successfully how it hurts so it can't be a tool for them to leverage power for when they are feeling bad? It has hit my health & my digestion system .. Like, it kills me inside already & literally it's killing me. I'm not getting online much but if you have any insight, I will read- even though I don't respond

Feb 06, 2012
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Emotionally and Verbally Abused too NEW
by: Anonymous

I really feel for you as I have this problem with my 16 year old son. I feel like I'm in a bad and abusive marriage and there is no escape. I am trying to take the advice of Kristen and get some therapy myself. Deep down I know I am doing the very best I can, and I am sure you are as well. I KNOW the feelings of futility and hopelessness all to well, and if it's something you can do to help yourself, it will only add positively to your specific situation. Bless you as you go through the tunnels...may there be light on the other side!

Feb 25, 2010
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Abusive Behavior
by: Anonymous

Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your situation, but I completely understand your fears. A few years ago, my daughter tried to stab me with a pair of scissors. She also will, hit, kick, or push me while calling me abusive names. We have been through so many medications. Currently, she takes, resperidone, clonazapam, and depacote and has been acting the best she has in years. We are still currently adjusting the depacote until her blood work shows 80-120 so sometimes I still get the abusive language & name calling, but I am no longer scared of her. One thing that has been really helpful is getting involved in Church. We found a contemporary Church that has a Youth Rock Band. She has never wanted to go & would never go, but after two suicide attempts, I begged her to just try this new church & she likes it. Sometimes she doesn't want to get up still & we fight with her about it, but she says later that she is glad she went because she feels better after she goes. I really hope everything gets better for you & I am beginning to understand that treatment has to change as the bipolar disorder changes. She has also been diagnosed with PTSD from having an abusive biological father who is an alcoholic (and we believe is bipolar too), anxiety, and depression. Try not to take anything personally and if you are scared, take him to a hospital. I had to tell a social worker that I was scared of my daughter & I was embarrassed about it. However, I know if she would have really hurt me, she would have never forgiven herself. She tells me that she doesn't even think about what she is doing or saying sometimes and later cries about how horrible she treats me. Please do not hesitate to take him to the hospital if you think he is going to try to hurt you or himself. He will eventually thank you for it when he is better. Take Care.

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