Anxiety? Not sure

by Val
(Highlands Ranch, CO)

Hi! My 2 year old is about to turn 3. We have always had problems with her "freaking" out (for lack of better term right now) when other kids climb up behind her on ladders or stand behind her waiting their turn to go down the slide. She is an only child and does display some behavior from it. Not sharing well, etc. We have worked on that.

The problem is when we go places to play. She gets extremely agitated when others are close and starts crying and screaming.

She goes to preschool 2 times a week and at preschool she doesn't do this. According to her teachers she is very sweet and patient and waits her turn.

We worked on it a lot in the past year. We did playdates and I tried to calmly help her realize people were just waiting their turn. She is fairly intelligent and seems to get logic of some things. I realize she is still 2.

I need help in figuring out how to help her play with others in a constructive, non screaming, ends in a tantrum way.

I feel like it is anxiety. I have anxiety, or used to in certain situations and I know it takes practice to feel calm and ok in certain situations. If that is what it is, I guess I am just not sure how to help her.

When she is with anyone else but me, she seems to do ok. I am not sure what I am doing, or if she feels my tension at times, but even when I am calm she still seems to get agitated very very easily.

Hopefully this is some of the information you need. Any advice or technique suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I just want her to be happy and able to have a good time with other children.


Hi Val

Its kind of impossible for me to say what's happening without actually working with you. It could be that she has some sensory integration issues but seems interesting that you being present is one of the triggers. My guess is that you may be contributing to her anxiety, she is picking up on it, and you need to be highly aware of that. I would continue to take her to other places to play and see if it improves, and if it doesn't rather noticeably I would see professional help. In fact it wouldn't hurt to get an evaluation done, and see if there is anything else going on.It's good to be aware that she may have anxiety because you have anxiety.


Good luck to you

Sincerely

Kristen McClure

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